filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize