If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize