i was rollin on her like bob the builder
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
