God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Naked. naked and bneed help.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
