During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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