She went from zero to smokin in five shots
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
