Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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