my sisters under your porch take her home
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
