They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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