she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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