The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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