I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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