I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
