going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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