my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
