you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just want nice things and good sex
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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