It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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