Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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