It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
