yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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