Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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