She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
When are your genitals available?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
