absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize