I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize