Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
