her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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