And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
