the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
