Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
