fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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