I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
