I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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