is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Let's paint friendship bongs
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
