Don't you send me to vm
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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