He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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