There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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