I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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