my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize