he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Randomize
