discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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