Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Sober January is a disaster.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
