the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
