So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
