Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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