drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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