'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
