how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
you made out with another girl for some wings
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
