What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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