I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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