She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
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I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
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Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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