What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Randomize
