So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i will never coherently bang her
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
