and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
