Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
