So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
