So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
