A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
