I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
