If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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