I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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