He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
