Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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