I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
