You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
