So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
