I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
